A very hearty hello to my awesome subscribers and new visitors! From the looks of my last entry, I restarted the year waaaaay, too, soon!!! Silly me! Who knew life could get EXPONENTIALLY crazier — like, dystopian parallel dimensions levels of crazy! I always have it in the back of my mind that life can, of course, be worse if your health is in question, but I never really foresaw your health potentially being seriously in question every single day depending on where you go and who you interact with.
It really makes you realize what our foremothers and fathers were going through with all those previous plagues (small pox, typhus, bubonic, Spanish Flu/H1N1, so many more, just pick one!) and yet NONE of them had the luxury of modern healthcare, let alone fairly easy deliveries to their home, including groceries, or even cars to drive in to get drive through medicine or food or what have you, or movies streaming to their phones and TVs (because they didn’t have any of those either!).
However socially, we are indeed all heavily impacted because we cannot seek solace in the in-person balm of gathering together in friendship, love, and camaraderie which is one of life’s sweetest blessings, and free to all (wo)mankind. Weddings, birthday parties, game nights, trivia nights, backyard BBQs, what have you — these are all basically off limits outside of your very small bubble of loved ones.
Which leads me to the title of this post. How on EARTH are you supposed to date during a plague?! Seriously! You will most definitely not meet a cute new stranger at a friend’s party, or out on a karaoke night. The odds of that happening in my demographic (40+) are slim to none as it is, however now, the very prospect of closely interacting with people you barely know is currently neither exciting nor energizing, let alone something to hope for.
There is also quite a bit of irony to romance blossoming during a plague. Singles might be thinking “gosh if only I was already in a couple, this relative isolation would be so much more bearable!” However, if you Google “covid divorce” you will see a plethora of articles detailing how divorce rates are skyrocketing! One would think you would bond together and find solace in each other, but apparently the pressures of a restricted life under the threat of Covid is what? Too much togetherness? Making those who were only able to live with each other when they spent most of the day apart go quickly bonkers? Whatever the case may be it’s sad to see, and nothing to long for. (I now insert Kelly Rippa and Mark Consuelos for consideration here as they seem to be going strong and have a great family unit. There are many other examples also. I just don’t want to be a Debbie Downer and only spotlight the covid divorce trend!)
Back to all the single ladies (and fellas)… So obviously you aren’t going to meet anyone in person, and if you did it would likely be very awkward to segue into a date. Maybe you’ll try online dating?
My question is, how?
Oooooh, right right, video dates! Phone calls! That will totally substitute for actual dates for a while, right?
Video dating can help you to get a feel for a person IN GENERAL, but it can in no way replace being with a date in person. You cannot truly assess the vibe on a call like you can throughout an afternoon or evening date in person. And not only that, because of lack of access to the normal social activities we’re used to doing on a date, you can’t assess how you interact together during those activities — did they short the wait staff on a tip? Or were they dismissive or rude? Did they stiff you on the bill? Take 5 billion hours in the public bathroom? Arrive really late with no apology or heads up? Swear regularly and loudly and make you cringe in public? Stare at other men/women? Or do they drink Midori sours/Bud Light??? 😮 You know what I mean. These are things you can easily see on a normal first date that you won’t or won’t necessarily see on a phone call, video date, or an open air hike. Taking an open air walk is great (and useful to see how your sportiness lines up with theirs if exercise is important to you, like it is to me), but being out in nature doesn’t present the same opportunities to see if your lifestyles are simpatico as well as your witty banter and physical attraction! The glitch being again that, our lifestyles are currently in a Bizarro-world in any case, making everything that much more complicated to suss out.
Beyond regular public dates, let’s not forget it’s a monumentally important decision to entertain the idea of going over to the home of someone you’re dating — which is usually another really important way to see if you mesh well. Have you every been at someone’s house and felt like, “I could never live here in a million years?” And I don’t just mean superficial stuff like the decor (although if their place is covered in Twilight or football paraphernalia, fair warning!). There are many factors to why you might feel comfortable at someone else’s house, and that little voice inside you making you feel comfortable or UNcomfortable, should be listened to.
But guess what? Due to Covid concerns, you may have been video dating with someone for 1, 2, or even 3 months so all the normal things you would have assessed in the first 5 or 6 dates max are now taking EXPONENTIALLY LONGER to assess, and you’re now in a weird epistolary romance of sorts! Or videography romance? I don’t know the correct terminology here, but it all sums up as much more complicated to extricate yourself from if the romance fizzles in reality. 😮 Not to mention the energy you’d have to put in to dating multiple people with multiple video dates for God knows how long then what? Making them all get covid tests to date in person? I can’t even… :-p
If any of you have been dating during the plague, please feel free to comment below and let me know what worked and what didn’t and what your thoughts are. As for me, I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to be on dating hiatus until 2021! Or, buy a very sexy hazmat suit. O.o
And now, time for a coffee!
Happy weekend, my lovelies!
Cheers, Maddy ❤