Dating During a Plague

A very hearty hello to my awesome subscribers and new visitors! From the looks of my last entry, I restarted the year waaaaay, too, soon!!! Silly me! Who knew life could get EXPONENTIALLY crazier — like, dystopian parallel dimensions levels of crazy! I always have it in the back of my mind that life can, of course, be worse if your health is in question, but I never really foresaw your health potentially being seriously in question every single day depending on where you go and who you interact with.

It really makes you realize what our foremothers and fathers were going through with all those previous plagues (small pox, typhus, bubonic, Spanish Flu/H1N1, so many more, just pick one!) and yet NONE of them had the luxury of modern healthcare, let alone fairly easy deliveries to their home, including groceries, or even cars to drive in to get drive through medicine or food or what have you, or movies streaming to their phones and TVs (because they didn’t have any of those either!).

However socially, we are indeed all heavily impacted because we cannot seek solace in the in-person balm of gathering together in friendship, love, and camaraderie which is one of life’s sweetest blessings, and free to all (wo)mankind. Weddings, birthday parties, game nights, trivia nights, backyard BBQs, what have you — these are all basically off limits outside of your very small bubble of loved ones.

Which leads me to the title of this post. How on EARTH are you supposed to date during a plague?! Seriously! You will most definitely not meet a cute new stranger at a friend’s party, or out on a karaoke night. The odds of that happening in my demographic (40+) are slim to none as it is, however now, the very prospect of closely interacting with people you barely know is currently neither exciting nor energizing, let alone something to hope for.

There is also quite a bit of irony to romance blossoming during a plague. Singles might be thinking “gosh if only I was already in a couple, this relative isolation would be so much more bearable!” However, if you Google “covid divorce” you will see a plethora of articles detailing how divorce rates are skyrocketing! One would think you would bond together and find solace in each other, but apparently the pressures of a restricted life under the threat of Covid is what? Too much togetherness? Making those who were only able to live with each other when they spent most of the day apart go quickly bonkers? Whatever the case may be it’s sad to see, and nothing to long for. (I now insert Kelly Rippa and Mark Consuelos for consideration here as they seem to be going strong and have a great family unit. There are many other examples also. I just don’t want to be a Debbie Downer and only spotlight the covid divorce trend!)

Back to all the single ladies (and fellas)… So obviously you aren’t going to meet anyone in person, and if you did it would likely be very awkward to segue into a date. Maybe you’ll try online dating?
My question is, how?
Oooooh, right right, video dates! Phone calls! That will totally substitute for actual dates for a while, right?
IMHO, wrong.

Video dating can help you to get a feel for a person IN GENERAL, but it can in no way replace being with a date in person. You cannot truly assess the vibe on a call like you can throughout an afternoon or evening date in person. And not only that, because of lack of access to the normal social activities we’re used to doing on a date, you can’t assess how you interact together during those activities — did they short the wait staff on a tip? Or were they dismissive or rude? Did they stiff you on the bill? Take 5 billion hours in the public bathroom? Arrive really late with no apology or heads up? Swear regularly and loudly and make you cringe in public? Stare at other men/women? Or do they drink Midori sours/Bud Light??? 😮 You know what I mean. These are things you can easily see on a normal first date that you won’t or won’t necessarily see on a phone call, video date, or an open air hike. Taking an open air walk is great (and useful to see how your sportiness lines up with theirs if exercise is important to you, like it is to me), but being out in nature doesn’t present the same opportunities to see if your lifestyles are simpatico as well as your witty banter and physical attraction! The glitch being again that, our lifestyles are currently in a Bizarro-world in any case, making everything that much more complicated to suss out.

Beyond regular public dates, let’s not forget it’s a monumentally important decision to entertain the idea of going over to the home of someone you’re dating — which is usually another really important way to see if you mesh well. Have you every been at someone’s house and felt like, “I could never live here in a million years?” And I don’t just mean superficial stuff like the decor (although if their place is covered in Twilight or football paraphernalia, fair warning!). There are many factors to why you might feel comfortable at someone else’s house, and that little voice inside you making you feel comfortable or UNcomfortable, should be listened to.

But guess what? Due to Covid concerns, you may have been video dating with someone for 1, 2, or even 3 months so all the normal things you would have assessed in the first 5 or 6 dates max are now taking EXPONENTIALLY LONGER to assess, and you’re now in a weird epistolary romance of sorts! Or videography romance? I don’t know the correct terminology here, but it all sums up as much more complicated to extricate yourself from if the romance fizzles in reality. 😮 Not to mention the energy you’d have to put in to dating multiple people with multiple video dates for God knows how long then what? Making them all get covid tests to date in person? I can’t even… :-p

If any of you have been dating during the plague, please feel free to comment below and let me know what worked and what didn’t and what your thoughts are. As for me, I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to be on dating hiatus until 2021! Or, buy a very sexy hazmat suit. O.o

And now, time for a coffee!
Happy weekend, my lovelies!

Cheers, Maddy ❤

Confessions of the Mother of a Picky Eater

5-29-mom

“OK, OK, stop being cute. I’ll make your damn flavorless butter noodles and 7 lettuce leaves with no dressing.” (sigh)

Before I had a child, I used to roll my eyes at the issue of kids who are picky eaters.  BK(Before Kids) I also liked to try and apply my dog training skills to child rearing.  “Well, if they won’t eat it just leave it out and eventually they’ll get hungry enough to eat it! You don’t want to spoil your dog…er, kid.”

Well, I have come to see that this tough love method doesn’t really work on humans.  Whereas a dog may abstain from eating their dog food temporarily in the hopes of eating table scraps, kids apparently abstain from eating particular foods because they inexplicably find them abhorrent and disgusting. While I am digging into a delicious pot of creamy gourmet crispy bacon-topped mac n’ cheese at a restaurant, my child is looking at me like “Barf!”  The same applies to all meat besides chicken legs and steak, any pasta that has more than butter and salt on it, salad dressings, and sandwiches(and the list goes on).

How did this happen to the once super well-adjusted eater that would happily eat a salad, chicken strips, salsa and hummus all in on sitting?  What happened to the chubby toddler who would eat a bowl of bean salad, a cup of minestrone soup and a ham and cheese sandwich?  Somewhere around pre-school foods started dropping off her previously wide open spectrum of edible delights.  The things she loves previously were now “gross.”  We hadn’t done anything differently at home — it just seemed to be a spontaneous thing.  Along with the food aversions came the weight loss.  She is a “normal” weight per her pediatrician, but when my child was always around 80-90% weight and drops down to 30% — it’s troubling, even if it’s irrational on my part.

Hence my inability to enforce the “tough love” and just let her starve one night when she rejects the pasta because I put too much parmesan cheese on it or whatever. The thought of her losing a couple pounds when she is already so slim is just not OK with me.  When I was growing up, my immigrant mother thought I was round and beautiful when I was clearly overweight in middle school, God bless her.  In fact I was called a picky eater growing up, but that certainly didn’t effect my weight, unless it caused me to eat more Chicken in a Biscuit crackers than whole grain breads — but who are we kidding — no one was taking about whole grains in the 80’s.  Well, no one that reached the middle school demographic anyway.

And so 5 days a week my cooking nights involve the meal for my husband and me, and the meal for the little Miss.  We will be eating homemade chicken curry over brown rice and she will be eating one of her 12 approved food items, and that’s acceptable, because counting the ribs on my 7 year old would not be, so there it is.

Mani of the Month

5 random compliments in a  week is pretty darn good!

At least 5 random compliments in a week is pretty darn good!

 

I can not tell you how many compliments I got the week I did this manicure.  Seems like everyone really likes the gold shatter over teal.  You can do this look with any teal/aqua polish and any of the gold shatter/crackles out there (if you can still find them!). Make sure you load the gold on there so it makes a nice constrasty pattern.

 

Books

You can check out my Goodreads to see what I’m reading right now.  I think I’m in a Regency phase right now — Navy SEAL theme goes right into Regency — obviously.

I am also wrapping up another Lux novel tonight I think.  I totally read the last page first, because I am naughty.  Another cliffhanger!  The next book isn’t even out until August — bah humbug!  This has been a fun series though, but I have a ton of series to finish so this will force me to get back to those, at least until August .  😉

And with that…

Time for a Coffee,

Mmmmmmaddy

 

 

 

Spring Books and Lovely Looks

4-29-14-booksAnnnnd just under the wire — a post for the month of April! Huzzah!

I am typing on a new laptop.  Excuse me, Toshiba (Satellite C75D-A) — what have you done to the keyboard that it looks the same as my last Toshiba, but causes me to make infinitely more typos?  I can barely get through a 2 sentence client e-mail without a typo, imagine formulating a blog post?  Torture!

But I digress. I’ve been reading some awesome classics, paranormal YA, and Romance, my usual eclectic fare. I am one book behind on my 50 book Goodreads goal for the year right now which meeeeans, I need to read faster!  Hah, since that’s not actually going to happen, I will use my usual cheat of reading a couple shorter Kindle books to bump up my numbers. What — like it’s easy to read 50 novels a year when you generally only have an hour to read every night?? Not so easy.  In any case, I have a few freebie Kindle romance books I downloaded that look possibly good, and very short.  Probably next up will be A SEAL’s Seduction, by Tawny Weber.

Now excuse me, but I couldn’t remember the name of the book but knew it had SEAL in it.  So I searched for “SEAL” in Goodreads. How many romance novels can there be about Navy SEALs after all? Um, apparently, many! <<<200>>> pages on Goodreads with at least a few of them being romance novels on each page!  WTF? There are whole series of SEAL romance novels apparently. Who knew?  This could be a Pandora’s box for me — you may never hear from me again after this because I’ll be on a Navy SEAL romance bender – I just, don’t, know!  Veeeeery interesting.

 

Beauty News

supercc_banner4I randomly picked up one of these new CC creams you have doubtless heard about.  I skipped right over BBs and went straight to CCs (insert bra joke: here).  In any case, I bought the Physician’s Formula Super CC + Cream in the Light shade and I LOVE it.  It’s just lovely.  It really does color correct very well — I’d say overall uneven color and even skin texture were improved by 80-90%.  Smooth a small amount on all over face, add just a TOUCH of concealer to any trouble spots, and voila! You are good to go!  OK fine, maybe add a hint of blush also — all ladies need some blush — anyone who denies this either has a fever or is sun-burnt — really, we ALL need some blush people.  Be that as it may, this CC cream is fabulous and I have already bought it twice at Rite Aid here in California for 40% off of $14, making it a serious bargain.  And for those who are too lazy to apply SPF30 sunscreen every day, it already has SPF30 in it — win-win!  It only comes in a few shades though — I hope they expand the line.  I am using Light right now and bought a Light/Medium for the summer months.

Give it a try!  And most places will return with receipt if you don’t like it, but I bet you will — so handy!

And with that…

Time for a… tea!  It’s 11PM, after all,

–Maddy